After the Deluge — Letters from My Campers

Huck Finn enjoyed a rare opportunity to attend his funeral and hear what folks had to say about him after he faked his death to escape the confines imposed by the Widow Douglas and her sister, Miss Watson — not to mention his abusive father, Pap. A recent near-death experience afforded me a similar chance to hear some feedback about my work with youth and families. Especially since it happened smack dab in the middle of the camp season.

There is no question that the deluge of cards, letters, e-mails, text messages, and Facebook posts provided an underpinning of support that helped keep my spirits high and recovery on track. That they comprised begrudging proof of an oft-repeated maxim of mine to decades of camp counselors — “Of all the mistakes you can make when working with kids, none is more consequential than underestimating how important you will be to the youth in your charge” — took me by surprise. As the mom of one of my campers said in an e-mail response to my surprise at the outpouring of support, "Clearly, you haven't been paying attention."

Letters from My Campers

I have a pile of letters stocked away in a nearby file drawer that demonstrate to camp directors and convince counselors that informal mentors, such as those who work at camp, are enormously powerful forces in the lives of their mentees.

These mentoring relationships need not be formal. While "matched" mentorships have long been shown to enhance school performance, improve relationships with parents and peers, reduce initiation of drug and alcohol use, and decrease incidents of youth violence, a Teens Today (2006) study conducted by SADD (Students Against Destructive Decisions) found similarly encouraging results for young people with informal, or "natural," mentors, such as teachers and camp counselors. According to more than 3,000 middle and high school students, these adults are some of the most important, influential people in their lives. And that influence shows up in some pretty substantial ways. For example, 46 percent of teens with a mentor reported a high "sense of self," versus 25 percent of teens without a mentor. High sense of self teens feel more positive about their own identity, growing independence, and relationships with peers than do teens with a low sense of self. Not insignificantly, they are also more likely to avoid alcohol and drug use.

Because of Camp

The hundreds (or more) messages I received during my recovery certainly contained proof of the efficacy of my service. But, moreover, they pointed to the incredibly powerful role that our camp, specifically our teen leadership program, has played in shaping campers’ lives and preparing them for the future.

Camp has prepared me for college because it has repeatedly given me the opportunity to make new friends and deal (read: live) with a varied group of people. Camp has engendered in me a new sense of responsibility. Living with the younger campers helped teach me that it is not always about me, but about what I can do for others. Camp has also taught me to live away from my parents — I have gained independence and confidence from my years at camp. I also hope to bring to college the program's motto of "Work hard, play hard."
— Jason, age seventeen

I can't even begin to explain how much the program means to me. Primarily, it means family and togetherness. After that comes leadership. I don't think anybody can truly be a strong leader without a strong support system to keep them going. And that's exactly what the program is.
— Julie, age fifteen

To me, the program presents the chance to free myself from childhood and take steps into adulthood. I can become a more influential person in society through teaching and being a role model.
— Adam, age fourteen

Over the past four years, I have gained knowledge I normally would not be able to experience elsewhere. I have made lifelong friends, learned how to accept others, and have gained so much confidence. The opportunities offered at camp are unique and special. Camp has helped me to grow as a person.
— Tara, age seventeen

To me, the program means leadership and honesty, friendship and community. I think it means leadership because it trains teenagers to take control and be a leader and not a follower. It means honesty because you shouldn't steal or lie to your friends. It's where new friendships are formed.
— Greg, age fifteen

Because of Camp . . .® so much is possible.

Reference
Teens Today. (2006). Families: Guidelines for good family communication. SADD and Liberty Mutual Group. Boston: December 2006.

Stephen Wallace, M.S. Ed., author of the book Reality Gap: Alcohol, Drugs, and Sex — What Parents Don't Know and Teens Aren't Telling, has broad experience as a school psychologist and motivational speaker. He serves as chairman and CEO of SADD, director of counseling and counselor training at the Cape Cod Sea Camps, and adjunct professor of psychology at Mount Ida College. For more information about Wallace's work, visit www.stephengraywallace.com.

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