Visiting Day from a Father’s Perspective

When I went to sleep-away camp as a kid, I always looked forward to Visiting Day. Mostly for the food, because after a couple weeks of camp food, anything my folks brought up was a big improvement. But I admit it was great to see the same families year after year (especially the family that brought enough KFC to feed the entire camp), and to enjoy a day of rest and relaxation with my own family before getting back to the serious business of camping. So I was really excited last summer when the shoe was on the other foot and I got to be the parent visiting my daughter at her camp. First off, I hadn't seen the camp, so I was looking forward to gaining some context for when I saw pictures of her doing this or that. But most of all, her mom and I were looking forward to seeing our oldest girl. She'd been gone three weeks, and we really missed her.

I have to say I was very impressed with the camp. There were a ton of activities for pretty much everyone. Back in my day, we'd entertain ourselves with a ketchup cap playing a game called Skully. Now these kids have go-karts, an adventure course, a zip line (from a terrifying-looking fifty-foot perch), ATVs and dirt bikes, waterskiing, and a bunch of other stuff. In the arts center they had an iMac-based video production and editing rig (yes, our daughter starred in a short video with her group), ceramics (including their own wheels and kiln), digital photography, and tons of other creative activities. There was even rocketry and woodworking (including tabletop lathes and jigsaws). It made me want to go back to camp. Don't tell my co-workers if I drop offline for couple weeks, okay? Everything was pretty clean and our daughter’s bunk was well organized . . . very much unlike her room at home! Obviously the counselors help out and make sure everything is tidy, but with the daily inspections and work wheel (to assign chores every day), she's got to do her part of keeping things clean and orderly. Maybe we'll even be able to keep that momentum when she returns home. (Editor’s note: see Marcia Ellet’s “Make the Benefits of Camp Last All Year: Positive Influence Can Mean Ongoing Success” from the September Camp e-News for tips on how to do this!)

Most of all, it was great to see our young girl maturing in front of our eyes. After only three weeks away, she was far more confident and sure of herself. Her counselors were from New Zealand and Mexico, so she got a view of other parts of the world, learned about other cultures, and is now excited to explore what the world has to offer. It has been a transformative experience for her, and we couldn't be happier.

I really pushed to send her to camp as early as possible because I firmly believe kids have to learn to fend for themselves in the world without the ever-present influence of their folks. The only way to do that is away from home. Camp provides a safe environment for kids to figure out how to get along (in close quarters) with other kids, and to do activities they can't do at home. That was based on my experience, and I'm glad to see it's happening for my daughter as well. But there's more! An unforeseen benefit of camp accrues to us, the parents. Sending our kids to camp each summer forces us to let go and get comfortable with the reality that at some point our kids will grow, leave the nest, and fly on their own. Many families don't deal with this transition until college, and it can be very disruptive and painful. In another nine years, my wife and I will be ready because we are letting our kids fly every summer. And from where I sit, that's a great thing.

Mike Rothman is president of Securosis, a research firm specializing in information security. He's been practicing computer security for almost twenty years and consults with organizations large and small to help protect their critical information.