It is probably difficult to imagine, as you scan the "packing
list," count socks, get the trunk out, and make sure your
child's name is on everything they are taking, what your
son or daughter might be like when they
come home from the summer
adventure at camp—the adventure for which you are working
so hard to get them ready. Indeed, for many parents the
send off requires enough emotional and logistical effort that
there is no time to think about where all this work might lead.
So allow me to give you some idea of what to expect on the other
end of the calendar when your child returns from camp. It
just might help, as you get them ready, to have a "big
picture" reminder of what this endeavor is all about.
Expect your child to be tired. Not just physically tired,
but emotionally tired. You see, camp in its best form
engages children not just in activities, but as active members
of a community. What does this mean? You child is
about to acquire several "brothers" or "sisters" they
will then have to share everything with—personal space;
the counselor's attention; time; fun; laughter; decision-making;
clean-up (yes, chores!); some of their own personal possessions;
and each other's friends. This requires a level of
negotiating and give-and-take that most children do not experience
in any place but camp!
This experience alone pays dividends. I have parents who
have told me their child was so much more cooperative at home
after camp. Or that they got along better with their siblings
after camp. Or that they now eat a broader range of foods
or keep their room clean. Perhaps the most common comment
I hear is that their children seem somehow calmer after coming
home from camp, which almost seems puzzling to some parents.
Where does this calm come from? Once you have the knowledge
that you can successfully handle yourself—that you can
negotiate with your peers and hold your own and compromise and
find out it's just fine—it gives you a sense of confidence
that is, well, just calming.
Your child may also be a bit sad after camp. If camp
is anything, it is intense. Many children make some of
their best friends at camp. Leaving that rich social environment
where you learn you can do things of which you never thought
you were capable imparts a temporary emptiness. I call
it the August blues. Oh, after a good sleep and a nice
dinner (and a few electronics), they'll perk up. My
advice to you as a parent is, keep that first day or two after
camp a bit low key. Have it be a time of family reunion. The
stories and the songs and the sayings and the new wisdom will
gradually come out, and as they do, it is as if your child will
suddenly realize all that she has brought home from her camp
experience.
And as they reminisce, you may find yourself surprised at the
mature young person you are listening to, asking yourself, as
many parents have told me they ask themselves: "When did
she get so grown up?!" At camp, of course!
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